Embrace Your Joyful Nowist!™

Ahh, my perfect Joy. It is always there. I often touch it and squeal in glee, marvel that it is me, and express gratitude for being so free. ~ Sophlili Achnil

I used to be weighed down by the circumstances of my life - held back and choked by little fears. Little fears that became huge fears and kept me from my bliss. I was at the effect of my emotions and the world at large on a daily basis. It was surely a personal hell of my own making, though at the time I didn't know I was creating it.

In time I came to understand that I was the creator and co-creator of my universe and slowly, little by little, my fears saw that they too had choice. They could transform their experience and their beingness. They could become all that they dreamed of being. They could join in creating beauty and that they too were love at the heart of them. Once they became aware of their true nature they fell less and less into their old behaviors.

Someone once told me,

There are two kinds of people in the world - 

The Do-Better's and The Joyful's. 

Which one are you being today?

This sparked something inside me. It gave me a way of seeing that I previously had not had access to. For the first time I saw that I had choice in the matter. I could choose to be happy no matter what circumstances were presenting themselves in my life. It followed that soon after this discovery, I made another:

Whatever is in my life, is there because I put it there. 

Whoever is in my life, is there because I put them there.

Whatever experience I am having, I am creating.

I am Cause in my life.  

Once again I had become aware that I had choice! Not only did I have choice ... I was cause in the way my life showed up and the quality of life I experienced. I had come to the understanding that I AM A CREATOR. Wow! That was big news. It carried with it an enormous responsibility. To be frank, I wasn't sure I liked it or wanted that kind of leadership position in my life. Being a victim was just fine with me. It was waayyy less responsibility and work. So again, I started on my process of acceptance. Acceptance - used to take me a very long time to conjure.

What I really had to walk through to allow my acceptance to thrive was that what I really wanted more than anything in the world was ... to be at cause in my life and to offer by BEINGness up to the world in such a way as to assist others to be joyful too.

Due to my relationship with my Mother in my childhood, I had erected a pretty big barrier to accepting responsibility for assisting anyone through life's challenges. When I was young my Mother was quite troubled and I always felt it was me who was responsible for helping her walk out of those troubles and to the other side where she could be free. To this day, I have not yet been able to reach her and she is still suffering. Deep down I figured, "If I couldn't help her, how can I help anyone?" Deep inside, I was holding this as up an epic personal failure, and a reason not to be what I came to the planet to be. 

Slowly, slowly, in its infinite mercy, the Universe brought me through this as well. In time I saw that my whole life had been orchestrated to create in me the tools necessary for me to fulfill on My Soul Truth™.

What a waste it would have been for me to live in sorrow over not expressing my purpose. Once I was able to see this, I was no longer willing to accept my self-inflicted fate as a victim. I was ready to accept responsibility. I was ready to embrace my response-ability in full.

Marcus Aurelius once said:

Begin - to begin is half the work, let half still remain; 

again begin this, and thou wilt have finished. 

~ Marcus Aurelius 

This little morsel of wisdom from Marcus has been a great help and inspiration to me along the way. There were so many times in my journey when I felt so overwhelmed and it seemed like giving up would be so much better than facing such an enormous task - such as re-creating my reality. Ooof, it seemed so daunting at times.

I used to walk around in fear and saddness, rarely catching a glimpse of my true self. I used to really dislike my life. This is not the case anymore. I love my life. It is beautiful and full of love and kindness and infinite joy. I am nearly married to my best friend, I have a wonderful, peaceful home - not a house ... a home. I have fully claimed and embraced my unbounded soul as magnificent, and I love being cause in my life!

Suddenly, because oddly it really did seem that way ... I awoke to discover myself a Joyful Nowist.